


Déan Dearmad

by WordThief



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Amnesia, Connor goes from childish to mature to something in between at times, It's hard to explain, M/M, Omegaverse, Scent as a way of recognition and marking, The Author Regrets Nothing, You Have Been Warned, and a mask will soon break into pieces, and someone is trying to make it come to light, cannon character isn't human, consistent chapter length is an illusion, good ending I promise, grey morality, how to summon your local maybe demon, how to trap a changeling, mention to hellhounds, probably badly portrayed amnesia at that, something was forgotten, strings are being pulled, switching POV, the first chapter is vague at best but I promise it gets better, very specific memory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-02-29 14:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 18,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18780100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordThief/pseuds/WordThief
Summary: They told me you never stopped wanting to be mineBut something was blocking my name from your mindThey said in order to make you remember I would have to forgetNot understanding how much I’m willing to do just to get you back





	1. I

Evan is called to the principal’s office and meets Mr. and Mrs. Murphy.

Larry and Cynthia return his letter.

Evan finds out Connor Murphy tried to kill himself.

Evan finds out Connor is in a coma.

Evan somehow, miraculously, manages to tell the truth.

Evan Hansen, despite being advised against it, starts visiting the hospital almost religiously.

Nobody blinks an eye at the omega visiting the unconscious alpha daily.

His mom bumps into him while on duty but Evan refuses to move.

Cynthia Murphy brings a box with books to the hospital, the only time anyone in the Murphy family has visited while Evan’s been doing this.

Evan reads to Connor, partly for something to do, partly because there’s a chance he might hear him and Evan wants to make up for their last meeting in any way he can.

Connor shows his first sign of conscience when Evan makes to leave for the day, a week into his coma; his hand is clutch tight around Evan’s jacket sleeve, the nurse that comes get him when visiting times are over runs off to get the doctor.

Connor still takes a few more days to wake up fully, catching on some much needed sleep according to the doctors; they can’t tell Evan much, as he isn’t next of kin, but they do warn him about a possibility of memory loss.

The Murphys get the call that Connor’s awake, Evan overhears the complications Connor has with his memory; it seems to be blocked in spots, he knows where he is, what hospitals are, but seems to have forgotten about his second nature, the fact that he has a family, and what exactly brought him here.

Cynthia invites Evan to see Connor awake, and he doesn’t know how to decline.

Connor looks at his mother with a frown as she introduces herself, and then his eyes fall on Evan and he sits up, staring at him with wide eyes.

“You!”

“Uhm”

Connor makes a chocked sound as he closes his eyes.

“I know your scent; why do I know your scent?”

Evan flushes, but wets his lips and takes a tentative step forward.

“I’ve been coming to visit you, my name’s Evan”

Connor makes another noise, eyes still closed, mouth tugging into a smile.

“I know your voice”

Evan knows Cynthia is giving him a look, probably trying to make sense of why her son recognizes this near stranger instead of her. He decides to ignore it when Connor opens his eyes again and looks at him like he holds the answers to the universe.

“I’ve read to you”

Connor’s smile widens a bit, exited like a kid’s.

“I remember, not the words, but I remember your voice”

Evan can’t help but smile back, Connor’s enthusiasm over remembering is contagious. Connor gives him an odd look, then looks at the empty chair at his bedside, the one Evan had gotten so used to occupying, then at Cynthia, then back at him almost like he’s scared.

“Would you- can you stay?”

Evan looks at Cynthia who is giving Connor this yearning look, then finally looks at Evan and smiles.

“I’ll go tell the doctors, you see if you can get him to remember anything else”

Evan nods dutifully and watches her leave before he walks over to the chair and sits down.

“Hey”

Connor follows him with his entire head and once Evan is close enough, he reaches for his hand. Evan tries to keep himself from flinching at the sudden contact, but Connor notices regardless.

“Did I do something?”

Evan shakes his head quickly and shifts his hand to reciprocate the hold.

“Just, warn me next time?”

Connor looks sheepish.

“Sorry, I just- needed to see if you were real”

Evan nods, he gets it, sort of, and Connor plays with his hand.

“I don’t mind”

Connor exhales in what seems like relief, and then gets a confused look.

“How come you’re the only one I can smell?”

“I can’t really afford scent blockers”

Connor scrunched his nose like he’d just tasted something icky.

“I don’t think I like whatever those are”

Evan couldn’t help it, he started laughing; Connor just- he was acting like a kid. When he calmed down he saw Connor look at him with this bright smile, like he was proud of himself, Evan didn’t know how to feel about it.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No schedule, and no restrain.

Connor learned a few things during his stay in the hospital, firstly about second natures, and the fact that there were some people who didn’t have scents, then that he had an easier time trusting people if he could smell them, then that he was an alpha. Being an alpha put things into perspective, his urges to protest whenever someone tried to tell him what to do, as well as his positive reaction to Evan.

Evan was Connor’s anchor in a way, he sounded familiar, and smelled safe; he was patient and quiet, and all together wonderful to Connor. He’d been told that Evan was an omega, that it was in their nature to be caring and comforting, but Evan claimed to be doing it out of empathy, and Connor trusted him; besides, the way he answered had made Connor’s chest tighten in worry.

It was obvious Evan knew something as to why Connor was in a hospital with little to no memory of his life; but the omega - and here Connor was testing the word out - didn’t seem to want to talk about it, going silent when he edged close to saying it. Connor missed Evan, it was a weird sentence to make, but the way the omega’s name rang in his brain made him feel like he’d said it before, like it had once been important to him; it was odd to miss someone who was right there.

Connor didn’t know how to act with his family, who he now had an easier time recognizing thanks to the doctors telling them not to use blockers when visiting; it meant his sister, Zoe if he remembered correctly from his mom’s ramblings, couldn’t come visit, as not being on them was dangerous for her.

He asks Evan about it later, because the omega doesn’t make him feel stupid for asking questions, just answers them as best as he can.

“I mean, it’s probably because she presented recently”

Connor tilts his head to the side and Evan doesn’t comment, just leans back in the chair and explains.

“Alphas tend to care a lot less about being gentle when they think an omega is nearing their heat; and freshly presented omegas smell very similar to omegas in heat”

He brushes a hand through his hair with weak humor.

“I had to hide at home for a whole week after presenting, since I can’t afford blockers; I do that for heats too”

Connor doesn’t like that, the idea of Evan having to lock himself away; doesn’t like the fear he can smell as an aftertaste on Evan.

“You’re safe with me”

The look Evan gave him hurt like nothing else, it made him want to apologize for anything he had ever said or done.

“I should really go; my mom will worry”

Connor doesn’t dare stop him, even though every cell in his body is telling him to do so, because there’s a venomous voice in the back of his head that tells him it’s his fault, that he hurt Evan. Not for the first time he wishes he could remember the omega, that he could know what happened between them. He wants to fix it, whatever it was that he did, he wanted to be allowed to protect him, and he wanted Evan to feel safe by him.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, technically this and ‘II’ are both part of the same thing.

Evan is weak.

He keeps going back to the hospital, back to Connor, even though he knows he shouldn’t. Connor doesn’t mention his escape, doesn’t ask to touch him anymore; almost like he’s afraid of his own hands, and Evan feels guilt clawing at his throat.

He has to end it, before it’s too late. So he finds the letter that started it all, and brings it with him. When he gets there, he sits in the chair closest to the bed; Connor follows him with his eyes the whole way, going still as he sits down. 

“I… I figured you’d want to know how you knew me; I think you asked that at one point? So uh, this is kinda, how we met”

He waves the piece of paper around, trying not to wince; Connor tilts his head to the side.

“I wrote this? And you, happened to find it? It’s… it was supposed to be a therapy letter, it didn’t go too well though, and-”

“Evan”

He sighs at the tone Connor uses, the alpha will most likely hate him, but Evan can’t keep doing this to himself.

“Here, just… read it?”

He shoves the letter into his hands, but Connor is still looking at him.

“Are you gonna run away if I do that?”

Evan closes his eyes tightly.

“You’re not gonna want me here when you’re done, so yeah”

He still feels the gaze over him, he chances opening his eyes and finds Connor looking like he’s had an epiphany.

“This is why you won’t let me close, isn’t it?”

“Uhm… yeah, pretty much”

Connor eyes the paper like it holds the answers to everything, then he looks back up to Evan.

“Would you stay, if I promise not to get mad?”

“I… really don’t understand you, I mean! Why would you insist on keeping someone you don’t actually know here?”

Connor gives him a bitter smile.

“Because if I let you go I won’t see you again unless they let me go back to school before you graduate”

Evan feels himself blushing as he looks away.

“I don’t like how I feel when I think about that”

Evan clenches his fingers on his pants, takes a deep breath, and looks down to them.

“Ok, I’ll stay, I promise”

[We all know what the letter says, let me be]

“Oh”

Evan moves to stand up

“I should-”

“No!”

Connor’s hand is on his wrist, looking terrified, and Evan doesn’t know what to do.

“You promised”

His voice is small, shaky with tears. So Evan closes his eyes tightly, and goes back to his seat, the hand doesn’t leave his wrist, but it does become softer in its grip.

“Please explain”

Evan swallows.

“Right”

He feels Connor’s thumb drawing circles on his wrist, but doesn’t think the alpha realizes.

“You thought I wrote it to make you angry, and I… it wasn’t, it really wasn’t”

Connor nods, encouraging Evan to keep going.

“You were so angry; I don’t think you heard anything I said”

“So tell me now”

Evan feels bitter as he looks at Connor, and feels like he might as well be honest with this; so he tells Connor what he didn’t dare say back then.

“Jared was the one who mentioned her to me, I agreed because I didn’t want him to know I was… lusting after a boy, him or anyone really”

“What would’ve been the problem with that?”

Evan runs his free hand through the back of his head.

“He’s an alpha too, if he knew I was gay… I wouldn’t have remained unclaimed”

Connor blinks at him, frowning for a moment before his mind catches up to him; and Evan remembers that he still shows no sign of remembering by himself.

“He would’ve forced you”

“Yeah”

Connor curls his unused hand on the sheets, and it’s clear that the mere idea disgusts him on a primal level; Evan feels an odd pressure in his chest.

“Who were you talking about then?”

Evan shrugs, he didn’t have anyone in mind really, it was mostly a fantasy, an imaginary connection to someone, so to not give out how detached he had become. Connor releases his wrist to instead take his hand and pull it to his chest; Evan flushes at this, finally looking at the alpha, who has this shaken look to him, despite the soft smile that paints his lips.

“I can’t lose you”

Evan feels tears racing down his cheeks, and he’s never cried like this, devoid of that gut wrenching feel that causes him to sob.

“Oh”

Connor shifts just so, lifting his free hand to gently brush the tear off of Evan’s face, soft fingers as if scared to hurt him; Evan leans into the touch as he closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy this. It’s then, when Evan feels two seconds away from breaking down, that the door opens to the scent of flowers and omega; and when Evan manages to look away from Connor, there’s Zoe.

Evan detaches himself from Connor, standing up once more, unstopped in the alpha’s stupor.

“I’ll be in the hall”


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long-overdue conversation.

Connor looks at the omega girl who in turn looks at him, and he doesn’t know which of them is more scared; but the fear doesn’t surprise Connor, because if he could hurt Evan, who felt so important to him, then hurting this girl he felt little to no connection to wasn’t that odd.

“I don’t recognize your scent”

She frowns then, annoyed with him, but annoyance is better than fear.

“I presented while you were out cold”

“Right, Evan told me”

She growls at that, but aggressiveness is still better than fear.

“He’s only visiting because he thinks he drove you to suicide, he doesn’t even know you”

Connor knows this, knew it as soon as he read that last line in the letter, the one that made his heart fall to his feet, because he didn’t like what it meant. Connor wasn’t lying when he told Evan he couldn’t lose him; the omega was the only thing keeping him sane.  

“You don’t like me”

“No shit Sherlock!”

Connor blinks at her.

“That’s not my name”

She blinks back at him and then she’s laughing, loudly, uncontrollably; and then she falls into the chair Evan emptied and she’s crying, frustrated and terrified.

“You are the biggest asshole, what the fuck were you thinking?”

Connor wishes he could tell her, feels like she needs to know, Evan’s words appear in the back of his mind, ink turned grey with the time that has passed.

“I thought I would just disappear, I think, that no one would even notice”

She lets out a watery laugh.

“Is that something Evan told you too?”

Connor frowns at her tone but doesn’t comment, simply shakes his head.

“No, he only tells me things when I ask him, I couldn’t ask him about that because I know he feels it too”

Zoe bites her lip and nods, looking like the world has decided to collapse on her, but her scent is bitter with withheld anger; like Connor is gone and she doesn’t know what to feel. Connor doesn’t blame her for that, because he’s tried to remember, but he doesn’t think he will; and there’s a part of him that thinks it’s better if he doesn’t.

“Did I… ever talk about him, before?”

Zoe scoffs at him.

“We don’t talk to each other”

“Ok”

The omega seems to make herself mad, because then she huffs loudly.

“Why are you asking?”

“I feel like he’s important to me, that I… that I’ve been loving him my whole life”

Zoe watches him carefully like she’s had some sort of revelation, but that does little to change everything else she felt before.

“Oh”

Silence falls onto them, and Connor decides he hates it most of all.

“I’m sorry”

She growls at him.

“You don’t mean that”

Connor frowns.

“I do though, I don’t remember what I did, but I know I hurt you”

She lets out a distressed sort of sound that makes Connor curl on himself, then she takes a breath, something settling in her expression, lifting herself from the chair.

“If you really loved Evan then I’ll find out”

Connor can tell he hasn’t been forgiven, but she seems to hate him a little less, so he’ll take it.

“Thank you”

She leaves the room without another word, and Connor waits for his omega to come back.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 😏

Evan watches Zoe all but storm out of the hospital, and like the fool he is, goes back to his alpha once she’s gone from sight. Connor smiles at him when he re-enters the room, arm stretched out in invitation, and Evan goes to him dutifully, intertwining their hands together.

“Tell me about you, I want to know everything”

And Evan does, small insignificant things like preferences and opinions, coaxed by an addictive rush of warmth that has everything to do with how pleased Connor looks; he lets it be for the time being, knowing they only have so much time, and the alpha doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’ll tell Connor if it happens again, because Evan’s heart can only take so much.

Eventually the nurse comes to signal the end of visiting hours, Evan says his goodbyes and leaves before he can do anything stupid; Connor still wants him despite the truth, so now Evan simply has to avoid fucking up.

 

In a normal day, Zoe would stay well clear of her brother’s room, but she’s a woman on a mission, and Connor would probably thank her; it weirded her out how different he was, like someone had removed all negative emotions specifically. She would have to be careful, least she cause his memory to come back, it was better this way.

Zoe supposed thinking like that should scare her, but she was done with trying to force herself to feel in a way she didn’t. Focusing on finding any trace of Evan Hansen in her brother’s life was much easier.

She was about to give up when she accidentally made a pen fall and roll under the bed, cringing at the cliché she almost laughed when she found a box down there that had stopped the pen. The box was cardboard brown, with a small latch where a lock could be added, but to her luck Connor hadn’t bothered with one.

Her hands were shaking as she lifted the lid, only to find two sketchbooks and a smaller box, this one with lock on, one of those with a number combination but small and rectangular. She ignores the second box and opens one of the sketchbooks, finding pages upon pages of Evan, alone, with people, happy, sad, anxious, calm; he looks younger in the pictures than he is now.

The second sketchbook has drawings of landscapes, always frames with trees but of different kinds, with Evan appearing only on the second half, always close to nature, serene, and then she finds something different:

 

_Does he know how lucky he is? Does he tell you?_

_Because I would give up everything just for a moment with you_

_Does he know how special you are? Does he tell you?_

_Because I would use every last cell of oxygen in my lungs just to see you smile_

_Does he love you? Does he tell you?_

_Because I would spend every second of my life reminding you that I do_

 

On the other side of the page there’s a picture of Evan looking two minutes away from crying while facing Jared Kleinman, who’s leaning against a locker, morbid grin on his lips. It strikes Zoe that she recognizes the scene portrayed in the picture, seen it happen a hundred and one times, and she realizes something else too.

Though he never said anything to her directly, she does remember catching him staring at something in the distance, eyes focused and face unreadable; she always figured he was simply high, now she knows better. Connor wasn’t mistaken, he had been in love with Evan, for how long Zoe couldn’t tell, but it was still clear that he did.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to clarify this in advance: I’m not sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan has a wet dream, but you can absolutely skip it if it bothers you, all you need to know if that it was someone with "familiar blue eyes". Ev wakes up horny and has to shower to tame his scent. You can read from "School has been weird [...]" you're not missing much

_Lips travel downwards through Evan’s chest, leaving a trail of hickies in their wake, and then going back up, skipping the neck in favor of his own mouth; startling blue eyes meet his own for a second and then a familiar voice whispering a claim into his ears as he’s breached in a single searing thrust._

Evan wakes up with a start, thighs wet with slick and dick hard, he takes a moment to breath before he gets out of bed, grabs his fake knot from its hiding place and goes to the bathroom. It isn’t the first dream he’s had involving being mounted by an alpha like that, but the fact that the voice was familiar is a little unsettling; still he has to deal with his arousal unless he wants to be attacked at school.

Once finished he takes a quick shower and goes dress before putting the fake knot back into its hiding place; opting for his usual attire, feeling a little better than usual but not questioning it.

School has been weird for the last few weeks, news of Connor’s hospitalization had spread quickly, but surprisingly not in a bad way, and people gave Zoe a wide berth; but the weirdest thing was that they did this with Evan as well. At first he figured Jared had said something about him and Connor, because that was the sort of thing Jared would do; but it had been going for longer than the usual rumor, which meant someone was fanning the flame.

It’s not until today that he finds out exactly who is making sure people remember what happened to Connor. He stands in front of a poster that’s been clearly made by Jared, which Evan could’ve pinpointed from a mile away because he’s been around the alpha practically his whole life, but obviously he isn’t the only one on it, because the poster also screams Alana Beck all over it despite her name never actually showing.

“What the fuck”

“Oh so you didn’t know”

To Evan’s credit, he hadn’t realized he said it out loud, so physically jumping in place at the comment was understandable, particularly when it comes from Zoe, whose voice he recognizes because he’s that pathetic. He turns to her with a smile that’s more likely a wince, and finds her with her gaze set on the poster.

“I figured you would since your friend is involved”

“Family friend”

She turns to him then, eyebrows knit into an exasperated frown, and Evan can’t really blame her.

“What does that even mean?”

Evan figures honesty is less trouble than having to maintain a lie.

“He only hangs out with me so his parents will pay his car insurance, and I’ too anxious to tell him to stop”

Her frown disappears as her mouth opens and her eyes blink rapidly for a second before she levels him with a look he doesn’t know what to do with.

“Evan that’s high-key fucked up”

He shrugs because honestly, what else is there to do? Zoe shakes her head, still very much exasperated, but at least it’s not directed at Evan anymore.

“Never mind, if you’re not involved then that’s good, I hate it”

As if to prove her point, she goes to rip the poster from the wall, only semi-succeeding, so now there’s only the words ‘the’ and ‘project’; she huffs but lets it be as she crumples what she did get into a ball. She doesn’t say anything else as she goes throw it into the nearest bin and then simply continues forward; Evan looks at the two jagged pieces of paper and sighs before walking away as well, only in the opposite direction.

 

Zoe knows Evan visits the hospital religiously, but she’s seen him talking with one of the nurses, and watched the woman - most likely Evan’s mother - put her foot down about him going to his therapy sessions; so she knows she has an hour with her brother. Knowing that Evan goes to therapy puts Zoe in a weird headspace as she wonders what things would be like if Connor had gone to therapy too, the hospital has made it clear that Connor will be assigned a therapist once he’s released, to help him adjust to everything due to the memory loss, and it’s kind of fucked up that the only reason their dad agreed now is because he has amnesia.

It makes her wonder, most importantly, if this whole ordeal could’ve been avoided had Connor gotten professional help before. Maybe then Zoe would’ve met Evan as the quiet omega who he was crushing for, instead of the guy who blamed himself for her brother’s suicide attempt.

She wonders about Evan Hansen as she makes her way to Connor’s room, questions how he covers the short but eerily silent distance between the front desk and 409, how he gets on the lift and stays put for 4 entire floors, how he copes with the overly hopeful grin Connor shoots at the door when he opens it - and Zoe only learns of that last one because her brother had thought she was the omega -, or how he deals with the immeasurable feeling of displaced guilt a hospital room seems to force into a person.

She breathes deeply, steeling herself, bag pack held tightly against her chest for comfort, and heads for the only chair in the room; a clear sign that they expect a single visitor, and that says a lot about her family and herself. She ignores the feeling, pushes it aside to deal with later, sits down, pulls the two sketchbooks out, and presents them to the alpha.

 “So, I found something”

Connor’s entire face lights up, not in recognition as she figured, but rather in curiosity, so she lets go of a breath she doesn’t remember holding, and lets him take the sketchbooks from her hands; then she offers the locked box. She is aware that there’s a high chance its contents may not fall kindly to hospital eyes, but she’s consumed by a need to know; Connor makes a face at it.

“I don’t think I can open that”

Zoe rolls her eyes.

“It’s yours, you’re the only one who can”

“Ok”

He reaches for it, and Zoe lets him take that as well, watching how his face changes into something more familiar as he stares at the lock, eyebrows set in a frown, jaw stiff. After a moment he finally puts a hand on the lock and fiddles with the numbers, and when the lock opens in the first try Zoe is too expectant to ask what the combination was.

There’s no drugs nor razors, nor anything of the like, just a very poorly made cat, and a small notebook; there are no more drawings, instead it seems filled with words, carefully curved so they fill as little space as they can, so more words can be added. Connor goes through the pages fast enough that she cannot make sense of anything written but a few loose words; and Zoe doesn’t blame him, simply watches until he’s done.

“Thank you”

Zoe shrugs even though his focus is still on the things laid at his lap. His scent had changed from something burnt with slight undertones of coffee and chocolate, to old books and cocoa; and something inside her settled at the telling difference.


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan sort of scares Alana, and Jared is better at being good to her than he was with Evan. More at 10.

There’s a lot to be said about the way Jared is handling the fact that Evan has all but abandoned him for the resident school trouble kid; at first he had ignored it because Evan explained Connor had his letter and the Murphy’s thought it had been Connor’s suicide note - and that was a whole can of worms on its own - so it made sense that Evan would try to make things right. Jared thought it would last until Connor woke up and Evan no longer felt comfortable going to the hospital, but that wasn’t what happened.

Murphy had to go and wait a whole week before waking up from his self-inflicted coma, causing some major memory loss according to Heidi - who had yet to find out that Evan no longer hung out with Jared -; and Evan, stupidly sweet Evan, just had to keep visiting him. It frustrated Jared to no end, so when Alana Beck approached him about getting people to help Connor, he agreed out of the selfish hope that it would give Evan a reason to stop.

He never expected the omega to get angry at him, though he should have, realistically.

Evan’s scent had been changing gradually since Connor first woke up, from dry leaves and honey, to freshly cut grass and oncoming rain; and any alpha worth his salt knew that omegas only changed their scents when finding a possible mate. The whole scent thing was part of the courting, as the omega spent more time with the alpha, if the first week of courting went particularly well the alpha would change their own scent as well; so Evan’s scent changing should have been red-flag number one.

Red flag number two, the one Jared actually noticed, was the strange almost eager sort of energy Evan now carried around, so jarringly different from his usual that other people noticed too; and that was telling. Jared had come up with this very though out plan on how to follow Evan to the hospital and gather information without being spotted or stopped, it was foolproof really; only Alana had other plans for him, thus Jared had yet to put his plan to use.

So while Jared had plenty of reason to believe Evan would be ~~possessive~~ protective of Connor, the omega had no reason to consider Jared a threat; not when the project was helping so much. Still, here was Evan, something dangerous burning brightly in his eyes as he told Jared that the last thing Connor needed was for all the attention to be on him.

Alana, wonderfully naïve at times Alana, managed to route the conversation into a calmer tone for everyone involved, utilizing her beta nature in that way only she could; Alana claimed to understand where Evan came from, and was more than likely truthful even if Jared didn’t get it, but explained that the project had already been accepted by the schoolboard.

“Can you change the name?”

And that dangerous glow is still there, no less tame though Evan is clearly much calmer, and Alana must notice it too, because her voice is just slightly meeker as she responds.

“We will”

Evan smiles then, saccharine and pride.

“Thank you Alana”

And when he leaves Alana turns to Jared looking shaken; so he slowly but surely gathers her in his arms, trying to be comforting and not really knowing how, but it feels like the right thing, and when she clings to him, he knows he’s done good.


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, I know nothing about trees, please spare me.

Connor makes good use of the empty pages of the sketchbook his sister gave him, filling them with the little details he’s learned about Evan, both from being around him as well as hearing them from the omega himself. He had also learned a lot about himself thanks to the sketchbooks and the notepad.

Connor understood Zoe’s wariness a little better, her name only just slightly less angry than the ones of their parents, but still tainted with rage; over siding with their dad, over being normal, over abandoning him at the first sign of danger. Evan’s name was different, every letter drawn carefully, as though Connor had been afraid to hurt him with misspelling; and everything about him was written with a light stroke, and probably a smile on his face.

It’s nice to learn that his feelings for the omega are nothing new, that they built overtime and were rooted so deeply into him not even his brush with death couldn’t erase them. It makes him wonder how Evan could’ve stayed unaware or it, surely he noticed Connor’s gaze on him, even if the alpha did nothing about his fancy.

Clearly he’s missing information, and Connor thinks that should frustrate him, but then there are footsteps, and his omega is entering the room; so that trail of thought gets promptly pushed into the corner. They go through the proper exchange, and Connor starts telling Evan about his day in the hospital; delighting in how his omega seems to unspool a little further with every word, until he finally looks stable enough for Connor to ask.

“What about you?”

Evan gets this look on his face like he bit into something bitter, Connor would know, he’s been allowed to start eating with other patients that have to stay here.

“School was school”

Connor doesn’t press, he wants Evan to feel comfortable enough to tell him on his own; wants his omega to trust him.

 

“What’s the tree outside my window?”

Evan realizes, after startling out of an aimless trail of thought, that the only reason Connor asks is because he’s used to Evan answering this type of question; when Evan had asked his alpha simply replied that Evan didn’t make him feel stupid for not knowing things.

So maybe he kind of, sort of, trails off for longer than really necessary, taking the answer into the finer details; it’s been a while since he’s had the chance to ramble, and it works as a sort of… test for Connor. Evan is still very much aware of how the world works, and he knows Connor doesn’t; but he’s also a mess and wants to see if this little thing they’ve built since _that_ day will go anywhere before he explains things, just… for science, ok?

Connor, wonderfully patient person he’s turned to be, not only hears Evan out, but full on encourages him to keep going, fingers intertwining with the omega’s; and god, maybe Evan likes the handholding a little too much. Like, his alpha likes to play with Evan’s hands most of the time, and the omega has become somewhat used to it; but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make him feel like preening every time Connor reaches out to him.

Eventually, Evan falls silent, and Connor is still wearing that soft expression in his face, lips pulled into an easy smile; and Evan realizes with a start that he’s probably seen Connor smile more than anyone else. It’s a sad thought to have, and it causes this hard to describe feeling in his chest, but then Connor is shifting their hands so he can rub circles on Evan’s knuckles.

“I think there’s a place I’d want to show you, but I’m not sure when they’ll let me go”

Evan feels something warm slowly expanding inside him, like drinking cocoa after a particularly cold day; and he finds himself nodding eagerly.

“I’d like that a lot”


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m gonna be adding little prefaces to certain chapters in italics, these were ‘written’ by characters in the story previous to the current plot, and will hopefully give you guys a better chance at understanding everything. So you aren’t lost when the Characters finally get to the bottom of things.

_I wanted to talk to you_

_I wanted to listen_

_I wanted to make you smile_

_I wanted to make you miss me_

_But everything went red_

_When I saw the way he looks at you_

_As though you’re already his_

 

Jared manages to dodge Alana easily, though the beta has been mellower since Evan’s little outburst, so it isn’t as much of an achievement as it would’ve otherwise been. Still, he finds himself in the Buttad Hospital, trying not to snicker at the name while talking the receptionist into telling him which room’s was Connor’s.

He managed to calm himself down by revising his plan while walking through the halls and staircases, which he only took in order to give himself a little more time to prepare; he was pretty sure he had everything down when something caught his eye.

In the wall by the door that connected the stairs to the actual hospital-istic part, there was a framed picture of each floor’s map, with the emergency exits and other related stuff carefully pointed out; Jared had been sort of using them in order to get to the proper floor, but now he also noticed that the wards were labeled.

Now, Jared knew very little about how hospitals actually worked, but he’s read plenty of fanfictions, so the words ‘psychic ward’ ring like an all too familiar bell plastered in ink before his eyes; and he’s pretty sure they only send a certain kind of people to that ward. When Evan told him the Murphys thought his letter was Connor’s suicide note he brushed it aside, but if the doctors at this place had decided to place someone with a memory loss in the mentally-troubled aisle, then there had to be a good reason.

Learning Connor was really trying to kill himself explains why he ended up comatose, and later with memory loss; however, that did little to change things, the alpha was still clearly trying to steal Jared’s omega. It did mean Jared would have to be careful about his words, unless he wanted to be kicked out of the hospital; also he was pretty sure causing someone in suicide watch stress was a sort of crime, so like, there was that.

As he’s figuring out how this new information plays into his plans to get to the bottom of things, he finds himself bumping face-first into a chest. He looks up at a twenty-something young man in a watercolor pink dress shirt, a black sweater, dark blue jeans, and the most ridiculously colored trainers (though they do look very comfy).

The man had short brown hair styled to the left, bright green eyes, and the most confusing scent ever; because anyone could tell this was an omega, but also, Jared found himself very much intimidated.

“Ah, Kleinman right?”

He nods quickly, instincts telling him not to test this man’s patience, the man takes the homework assignments he brought as an excuse from Jared’s hands, fingers brushing against his skin.

“Why don’t I walk you back to your car, wouldn’t want anything to happen to you”

Jared nods again, and follows the older omega dutifully to the elevators, all the way back to his car, where he gets in and starts the engine.

“Drive safe”

And Jared goes, it occurs to him, half-way to his house, that he doesn’t remember why he’s getting home so late.

                                       

“It’s a little sooner than planned, but I suppose we can start regardless, shall we Mr. Kleinman?”


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I wanted to make something have white text in ao3, because in the cannon it was erased, how would I go about it?  
> (Also, this will make sense next chapter, I promise)

_Today we had to make sculptures and give them to someone special, I made two, one was for mommy, I made her a heart, small so she can put it in her moneythingie. The other was for Nini, I made a tiger because it is his favorite animal, because I like him lots and lots, and I’m gonna marry him, so I have to give him things he likes._

 

Connor traces his fingers along the lines of one of his favorite pictures on the sketchbook, in it Evan is sitting by the shade of a tree, right in between the roots, pressed softly against the bark, nose deep into a book.  His omega looks completely invested in the contents of the book, and Connor can’t help but be reminded of what he considers their first conversation; he tries willing the image of Evan sitting in the chair with a book on his lap, reading loud enough for Connor to hear but softly enough not to disturb others.

The sound of the door opening breaks him from his trail of thought, as the nurse in charge of him comes tell him he has visitors per usual, smiling like she finds the whole thing endearing, and maybe she does. Connor agrees to let Evan come in - and he knows it’s his omega because of the look on the nurse - and goes put the sketchbook back in his bedside table, not wanting any distractions.

When Evan enters he has a familiar look to him, only Connor wasn’t the one to cause it this time, he’s sure because otherwise Evan wouldn’t come close to him. His omega plops down on the chair, whole body shaking, and Connor moves carefully so he can put both of his hands around him.

“Come here”

He half-expects Evan not to do it, but then he’s getting up and climbing into the bed just as carefully as Connor had moved or more, and the Connor has an armful of omega. He’s surrounded by the scent of freshly cut grass and oncoming rain, and finds himself somehow possessive of it, as though he were the sole cause.

Evan curls around him almost instinctively, pressing his nose into Connor’s neck, not that the alpha minds, he likes being this close to his omega; he just wishes it was a different circumstance.

 

“Do you remember Jared, uhm, I mean, Jared Kleinman?”

Connor shakes his head.

“Not really no”

“Yeah, it’s probably better you don’t actually”

Connor frowns and Evan gets the sudden urge to smooth the wrinkle with his fingers, but he doesn’t, because that’d be weird.

“He’s an alpha I used to hand a lot with”

Connor’s face morphs the way it does when he remembers something, which so far has only been words and small details like birthdays and names.

“You mentioned him when you showed me the letter”

Evan feels something give inside him at the memory of _that_ day, and he has to hide a smile from his alpha.

“I did”

Connor’s hold on him tightens just slightly so.

“I don’t think I’d like him very much”

Evan nods in agreement, as he’s not very partial to Jared either, particularly today.

“He and one of our classmates are using your situation as like some sort of club? And I mean, don’t get me wrong, they have apparently actually helped people, but like…”

“They could’ve done it without involving me”

“Yes!”

Evan has pulled far enough to see his alpha’s face, so he notices when Connor smiles softly.

“That’s what’s been bothering you?”

Evan bites his lip and sighs through his nose.

“Part of it”

Connor slowly lifts a hand to his face, allowing Evan more than enough time to stop him, but the omega needs all the comfort he can get.

“He was acting almost possessed, I denied all his attempts but he wouldn’t budge, saying I was- that I belong to him when I don’t, and I- I just…”

Connor kisses his forehead, and Evan whimpers at the intimacy of it; his connection to Connor is messy but it doesn’t matter, not now, now all Evan cares about is the safety his alpha gives him.

“I ran here because I knew he wouldn’t be able to follow, but I don’t know what I’ll do when visiting hours run out”

There are lips on his, a short press gone too soon, and Connor smiles at him as though he hasn’t just put Evan’s entire world on its head.

“Let me take care of it”


	11. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are remembered, some are forgotten; just who is picking which should be which?

Alana doesn’t get it, things were going well, everyone seemed eager to propose new names for the project, until someone asked why the name change was happening. Alana explained that they were approached by Evan, and that’s when it happened.

At this point practically the whole school knew that Evan was Connor’s most frequent visitor, and given the omega’s recent change in scent it was easy to put two and two together; but someone stated what they all thought out loud.

“It’s sweet that he cares so much about his alpha”

That’s when Jared stood up, movements sharp as his scent, suddenly covered in fury.

“His?”

There was a sharp dangerous snarl on his mouth and Alana took a step away.

“Evan Hansen is mine”

And before he stormed off to god knew where, Alana swore his eyes were glowing green; the entire room feel into silence, until she called the meeting off and run after Jared.

She hurries as much as she can but the scene she stumbles into makes it clear it wasn’t fast enough. Jared has Evan’s good arm in his grip as the omega is clearly struggling to free himself, and Alana is frozen in place as she watches him badger Evan.

“When the fuck did he come back?”

Alana Remembers.

 

**Alana stands in the walkway of a simple looking house, holding a shaking Connor.**

**“You can’t leave!”**

**There’s another person there…**

**“I need to find a solution”**

**An omega with…**

**“So what? We’re supposed to watch Kleinman brainwash him?”**

**Brown hair…**

**“No, you’re supposed to forget”**

**And startling green eyes.**

**“Alhor you can’t-”**

**“Sorry Lana”**

 

Alana smells citric incense and grilled meat, and has a brief feeling of home away from home, understanding, and encouragement encompassed into a single hard to describe emotion; and her feet move on her own, anger coiling at her lungs, and before she knows it she slaps a still fuming Jared in the face. Alana doesn’t get it, can’t explain why she’s suddenly so furious, why it matters so much to her that Jared stays as far away from Evan as possible.

What she does know is that she’s forgot someone of upmost importance to her, and her only lead has lost his memory; only that’s not exactly right, because Jared seems to know something too. She’ll have to be careful from now on though, because something tells her this is much bigger than it seems.

 

Alhor Scarlay watches from a safe distance as Alana Beck drags Jared Kleinman inside the school, scolding the alpha on his behavior towards Evan, and sighs, a small smile painting his lips.

“Always the soft heart Lana, but then again that’s what I like about you”

He steps away from his hiding spot, smile saccharine.  

“Now then, what piece should I move next?”


	12. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I put it backwards because I want you to have to think a second, because then maybe you’ll also have the time to make sense of what it means.

_Your light dimmed to something resembling my shadows and I panicked, I panicked and did something questionable, something wrong. It was surprisingly easy, stalking you; learning about the park-ranger apprenticeship, following you there, learning your schedule, finding all the best spots to see you do your routes without you ever noticing me._

_Maybe it’s proof, proof that they were right, that I am truly a monster; so I can’t approach you, I can’t save you, I’m sorry I’m sorry_ **_~~imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryi-~~ _ **

_Am I? am I really?_

_Now you’re as broken as me and maybe, maybe enim eb yllanif dluoc uoy_

 

Connor springs out of bed panting, a sound of bone breaking ringing in his ears, he moves for the call nurse button but stops when his eyes brush over a figure sitting in Evan’s chair. Connor can tell the person is an omega by the scent, and he gets this dull sort of recognition but not quite; the omega smiles at him and Connor felt a shiver run through his body.

“Hello Connor”

“Hi?”

The omega laughs, Connor shuffles a little further from the chair.

“Don’t worry, I’m only here to deliver your schoolwork”

This causes Connor to focus on the omega’s hands, which surely enough are heavy with papers, but doesn’t do anything to soothe the tension he feels.

“Now that you’re actually awake to receive them I can leave, want me to call a nurse?”

Connor finds himself nodding, and because he’s trying to get out of here and join Evan outside, he forces himself to speak.

“Thank you”

The omega seems pleased at this, finally leaving the chair and putting the papers in his table, and then walking out of the room much to Connor’s immediate relief. A little later a nurse comes into the room and Connor asks for something to write with so he can deal with the paper pile.

It takes him until another nurse comes to tell him about him having a visitor that Connor realizes he couldn’t even begin describing the stranger that had come to his room that morning; and, more worryingly, couldn’t remember what hour said visit had happened.

Had there even been light in the sky? Did Connor dream it? But there’s a half-done pile of homework at his bedside table and his hands are stained from the chalk like pencil they gave him. How had the homework gotten to him? Maybe Zoe brought it for him before heading to school, and some nurse left it in his room while he was asleep… yeah, that made sense.

He’s been allowed to roam about the ward pretty much since they moved him here, and with the whole Kleinman thing Connor had taken advantage and made Evan join him. So now he got out of bed and straightened his clothes and hair while waiting for Evan to come in, he’s asked permission to go to the hospital’s backyard, it’s not the orchard but it’ll do for now.

 

Evan is very glad for Alana and Zoe; the first because she keeps dragging Jared away by the back of his shirts and Evan is maybe slightly amused, and the second because she’s taken to driving Evan everywhere. Zoe is surprisingly easy to talk to now that she’s fully settled into her second nature, Evan remembers his own struggles with being an omega with little to no fondness, and seems to tolerate Evan at the very least.

Evan gets that she’s angry, because the Connor she knew might as well be dead considering how little Connor had managed to recall. It was a little weird, because Connor seemed to progress at very good speed, but not when it came to his memories.

Zoe stops at the hospital, and Evan gets out of the car and thanks her, telling her he’ll be good to go home once he’s done, Zoe gives him a thumbs up and drives away once he’s put distance between himself and the vehicle. As he goes inside he swears he bumps into something or someone, but there’s no one close, and nothing either so he shakes it off and continues; it wouldn’t be the first time his brain played tricks on him.

Connor is standing when he enters the room, that little proud grin on his face, and Evan just… has to kiss him. It sends a shock to his system, and the worst part is that he could; he actually could cross the distance and just kiss Connor, because they’re- they are…

Connor crosses the distance for him, but it’s to hold Evan’s hand and gently tug him out of the room, Evan allows himself to be lead as he simmers. What are he and Connor exactly? Does Connor think of Evan as his omega? The thought has him flushing, hart stuttering in his chest.

It feels like a revelation, in a way, but it also doesn’t; Evan wants to be Connor’s, and that’s sort of huge, but for some reason it feels… familiar almost. His alpha finally stops, and Evan find himself staring at a bench under a tree, the season has died the few leaves on its branches to match the ones pooling on the ground.

Evan sits down and waits for Connor to join him, taking a deep breath, and letting the cool of the stone seep into his shaking palms. He feels as one of his hands is taken off the bench, and follows the movement to Connor, who smiles softly as he brushes over his knuckles with his thumb; and Evan feels something warm settle inside him.

“Have you learned about courting yet?”


	13. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Wink*

Courting is a delicate thing, reserved for the sort of connection not easily shaken; it proposes a level of trust an intimacy one should not play around with. Courting is a paired dance, it cannot start if one of the parties isn’t in agreeance, there’s a balance of effort needed, of steps to take.

It’s not restricted to alphas and omegas, because that would be implying only them can form such deep connections; and every courting is unique to the people partaking in it. The only common threads are the change in scents, the increasing ease between parties, and the change of possessive pronouns.

Theirs started with a simple request, but done after everything was pushed forward into the light, after a step taken with shaking legs met with weak arms ready to break just to stop the other from falling again. And it settles now, sitting on a bench under a tree losing its leaves for autumn, as Evan takes the time to explain the intricate concept of what they created.

Connor listens attentively, because he can tell this is of upmost importance, that it draws down lines and defines the development he and Evan have made together. It doesn’t exactly explain away all the feelings Connor gets whenever he sees his omega, but rather functions as a way to show them openly without fear.

Courting is a serious thing, once officially started the only ones able to stop it are the two people participating; no one can step in courting. Because courting leads to mating, and there’s nothing quite as dangerous as trying to break the bond of two mates by force; not only to those mated, but also whoever gets in between them.

So, of course, Connor has to ask.

“Are we courting?”

He sees Evan flush, ears darkening as he picks at the cracks in the stone.

“I- I think, but, would you want to?”

Connor reaches out as gently as he can, as softly as possible, allowing Evan to stop him at any given point, asking without words. And then those dark blue eyes settle on him, and he notices green freckles dot them in the sunlight.

“I want it, I… want to be yours, if you’d also be mine”

Tears slip from Evan’s eyes, but he also starts laughing, so Connor pulls him closer until their foreheads touch; and receives the most brilliant smile from his omega.

“I want it too”

So Connor kisses him, and Evan kisses him back, and it feels like something long coming, finally being resolved. But there’s no wondering what that could mean, not in their newfound closeness, nor in their joy.

 

“You know of course, Mr. Murphy, that the state will only allow you to pull Connor out if he has a therapist”

“I am aware”

“And we are to take him back should you not comply”

“Of course”

“Very good then, I do believe there are some papers for you to fill”


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, uhm, in case it wasn’t clear before, this story contains supernatural elements; and they play quite heavily on the plot. I do want to clarify, however, that while the OC is explicitly part of that, he isn’t the only one.   
> This took a while because I wrote the boys holding hands and then couldn’t look at it out of sheer embarrassment. Someone help me, it’s too soft.

_I promised Ali he could be by my side when I married Nini, because he is my best friend in the whole world, Ali says he is really happy about it, and he promised no lies. Nini and Ali get along too, and that is supper good, but Nini says I’m his and Ali is my best friend, so I’m not worried about them loving each other._

 

Alhor figures he should be satisfied now, as he watches Connor and Evan kissing under a tree; but that isn’t the case. Rationally, Alhor knows this is to do with his unfinished revenge on Kleinman; mostly though, it’s because he keeps mentally going through the ‘kissing in the tree’ chant.

“What are you doing here?”

Alhor doesn’t turn, recognizing the voice easily, the speaker doesn’t make any further moves.

“Looking onto a long overdue start to a courtship”

“Who are you?”

Alhor turns then, smirk already forming in his lips as he does.

“Such a cruel tone, don’t you recognize me anymore Ms. Hansen?”

 

They walked back to Connor’s room hand in hand, warmth curling around them despite the city’s slow descent into winter. It’s not like everything has settled, not really, not exactly, but some of it has; there’s still much to be talked through and learned, but the ground has become just a little bit steadier.

Connor’s appointed doctor is waiting for them at the door, Mr. Murphy at his side with the usual stern expression; or Evan thinks it’s usual, he’s yet to see the man with any other expression. There’s a rush of embarrassment as dark brown eyes settle on them, but Connor squeezes his hand like he knows, and Evan feels himself relax just slightly so.

“Hey dad”

There’s a weird sort of energy to Connor’s voice, words tentative, just as wary of his father’s reaction as Evan feels; so the omega squeezes his alpha’s hand. Evan knows, realistically, that now that him and Connor have agreed to it, no one can step in between their courting; that does not mean he’s any less intimidated, nor any less relieved when he sees Larry Murphy smile for the very first time since meeting the man.

 

Heidi Hansen had always been rather fond of folk tales, a simple thing to brush off if someone were to find out, after all the pictures and stories could be very beautiful; however, she was very aware of the darker side of it as well. So when she first met Alhor Scarlay, with razor sharp smile and cat-like eyes, she was scared of him.

It took a while for her to fully accept that Alhor wasn’t fae, even as much as he looked it back then, but something else; still very much not human. But the fact that he wasn’t a fae meant the boy was at the very least not planning to drag Evan away any time soon.

The two had become scarily fast friends, them and a third boy, one Evan had been more than a little infatuated with, but one Heidi couldn’t remember for the life of her. When she first forgot the third boy she feared Alhor had a hand on it, but when Alhor disappeared too she knew that couldn’t be so.

Now, there were many things she did not understand about the boy-looking creature, but she knew for fact that he cared for Evan and was cared for right back; so he’d never do something to ruin that connection. There had to have been something else at play, nothing natural could cause so many people to forget at the same time; but Alhor had been gone, and thus Heidi was lost for answers.

But here was the omega now, looking far more human than ever even with his green eyes still shining oddly, and his lips in an almost snarl-like smile; probably hiding the fangs Heidi knew resided there. He looked tense, like an animal chasing it’s pray, but not about to pounce just yet; whoever had angered him wasn’t in the hospital then.

“Alhor, what are you really doing?”

The smile widens just so and his teeth glint under the light.

“Getting things back to their normal course, naturally”

Heidi raises an eyebrow, Alhor sighs and drops into a neutral expression.

“I’m a little hurt, as careful as you were around me, you still allowed a changeling into your home eagerly”

Heidi knew for a fact that Alhor was not fae, he was something else, something easier to recognize yet harder to name. It made his words all the more worrying.

“Granted he was only interested in a specific memory so he could more easily steal Evan without lifting a finger”

Heidi didn’t speak, mind whirling at the information, but she could pin point a clear culprit, the only one who Alhor could be referring to.

“I looked at all the options, all the ways I could fix things, considered messing with time and stumbled into his biggest mistake”

Heidi remember his first answer, and considers what changed with her son, considers the stakes usually in place for this sort of thing; and her heart aches for a boy who lost so much in order for her son to remember.

“You used Connor”

Alhor snarls at her, full row of sharp teeth in view, eyes glowing a little brighter.

“I saved his life”

Then he takes a breath and goes back to his neutral look, breathing just a little louder.

“I offered him two options, and he didn’t even hesitate”

And Heidi has to ask, because she needs some reassurance that her hunch is correct.

“Why Connor?”

Alhor smiles like it both saddens and amuses him in tandem.

“Because he was the one forgotten”


	15. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile: Alana does some box diving; Zoe craves lays stax cheddar (In case you also had a craving upon reading)  
> I actually have a reason for the nicknames in story but it might not make the cut, so ask me about it once I revealed everything. I spent far too long pondering on whether 6-years-old Alana would know of the Oxford comma, before deciding that of course she would.

It took a while digging through boxes long since bathed in dust for Alana to find anything even remotely close to an answer; a photo of herself and three others at a park, sitting on a seemingly stone bench. They must be around 5-6 years old, and by the color around the bench it’s clear the picture was taken during fall.

In the far left sits someone with short wind swept messy light brown hair, their eyes are half lid as their mouth stretches into a laugh-like smile, at their side a blond with an almost military cut face flushed and smaller smile; the two are wearing matching sweaters in almost-black blue, but she can’t read what they say. Alana sits at the very far right in a nice colorful dress that looks to be made of wool, she’s brought closer to the others by the jean jacket wearing arm of someone with bright green eyes, and she realizes their pupils lack the red light the others have on them.

The other side of the picture is scribbled in what can only be her own handwriting from whatever year this was taken on reading: ‘Nini, Vivi, Ali, and me’. Alana flips it again with a sigh and tries to make out any other important detail, and notes some numbers on the very bottom, small and reddish, dating the picture 10 years back in a few days; for some reason it feels as though that date is crucial, so she saves it on her phone’s calendar before carefully folding the photo and putting it into her pocket.

She puts everything back in place and dusts herself off, still having enough time for her next step much to her relief. Since the direct source was out of question, Alana would have to make do with the second best option if she wanted to find the truth at all; she just hopped it wouldn’t blow up on her face.

 

Zoe thinks she’s understandably weary when her dad breaks the news that Connor’s coming back home; after all, what if being home jolted his brain back into being an asshole? Zoe couldn’t really stand up to him anymore, not to a Connor who could control her with so little as a change in intonation.

It was terrifying, being an omega was fucking awful, and her heart went to Evan, who she knew for a fact had to deal with it without the medicine to help even a little. Now being an omega she also had a better understanding as to why Evan never called Jared out on his bullshit, why it was only now that others were noticing the alpha’s toxic behavior.

When it came to alphas, it was easier to notice behavior like Connor’s as wrong than it was to notice behavior like Jared’s; because Connor was very much outward, while Jared was far more inward. Jared’s actions were just as bad as Connor’s, and sometimes, when Zoe saw the way Evan flinched when he so much as hears Jared’s name, she thought maybe they were worse.

She had admittedly grown somewhat fond of Evan during this last few days, which meant she started worrying about just what kind of attraction her brother felt towards him; the boy did not need a second Kleinman after all. So when Alana reached out to her concerning something Jared said to indicate Connor’s amnesia not to be normal, she agreed on a heartbeat; after all, no one really knew what actually happened to Connor that night, as the only lead had ended up being fake.

And what did that say about Evan, who was the actual writer? That the letter he wrote for himself was confused for a suicide note however briefly, that there was something raw and so much like Connor in his words; what did that mean?

Zoe’s thought process gets cut short with the doorbell, and she hurries downstairs so her mother doesn’t get to answer the door; she quickly pulls Alana inside and upstairs with a quick practiced excuse. Once they’re inside her bedroom Alana blinks at her looking a little whirl-winded; which, while kind of amusing in retrospect, was absolutely not what Zoe should be focusing on.

Alana takes a breath, re-composes herself, and pulls out a folded piece of camera paper; as she carefully unfolds it the world goes green.

Despite everything, she doesn’t feel fear, not that she really feels any sort of describable emotion, she does get an inexplicable craving for cheddar flavored potato chips, specifically the ones that come in tubes. When her sight comes back she’s kneeling in front of Alana holding a picture, the perfect mirror to the one Alana’s holding.


	16. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: a changeling performing a demonic summoning (blood, body alterations, mentions of animal death); But I don’t think it’s overly graphic.

It’s been a decade since he last stretched his claws, much less dug them into still warm flesh, spilling blood into the soil; he has to be careful, if he makes even the slightest mistake he’ll be killed, and he has things to do damn it. He checks the sigils again on his free hand, trying not to stumble over his own feet in the poor lightning combination of vegetation and planetary rotations.

It’s weird to think about science while trying to summon a demon-adjacent sort of being, Jared never actually found out what exactly Scarlay was, but this would certainly catch his attention. The alpha didn’t bother with a trap, not when he was in the other’s territory, surrounded by a circular row of charred still standing trees, feathers sticking to him where the blood was starting to dry.

“Well now, someone is eager”

Jared whirls, as his hand is freed from the corpse, and he’s faced with glowing green eyes; unlike him - who only had to worry about an extra set of canine teeth - all teeth in the omega’s mouth have pointed ends. Those teeth are bared cleanly, as though Scarlay is only showing off, the corpse turns to ash in his palm though, so Jared knows better.

“I want answers”

He’s being threatened, he knows, but he’d be a fool to show weakness here, Scarlay makes a sound that could be called laughter.

“Did you really think you could tear a soulmate bond apart and not face any consequences?”

Jared scoffs, ears twitching in annoyance.

“That’s bullshit, the only reason my work was derailed was that you decided to intervene”

Scarlay claps his hands, and Jared curses the still human-looking ears and pupils, for they make reading him that much harder.

“You’re getting rusty, though I do love that fae-common inability to lie”

Jared feels himself flush as he glares at the ash now laying in the blood painted soil.

“Sadly for you, they really are bound by fate, thus how I managed to make the tradeoff; I am an opportunist after all”

Jared snarls at that, and knows his pupils have slit if the amusement in Scarlay’s eyes is anything to go by; the omega tuts at him through razor sharp teeth.

“Honestly, after the 10 years of prep, I was hoping for at least a fight”

“I could just break the bond again; it was easy enough the first time”

The omega flicks his foot and the ash goes flying covering the line of sigils perfectly, Jared takes three entire steps back, and Scarlay grins.

“There’s worse things for you to concern yourself than two fated humans finally being reunited”

“You can’t hurt me”

But his body is trembling, and his every sense is going high-wire; because he’s terrified.

“Oh poor stranded fae, there are many ways to hurt someone”

Wind picks up in a fury, leaves kicking up from the ground and dirt causing Jared to cover his eyes, when it’s over Scarlay is nowhere to be found, and there no trace that he even existed - no blood sigils in the ground, nor feathers in Jared’s skin, nor ash -; but Jared knows better.

When he turns to go his phone buzzes, and when he opens it he has a message from a non-existent number.

‘Enjoy your humanity while it lasts’


	17. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exams are kicking my entire self to be perfectly honest. Also, just to get the smoke up while there’s time, what are some questions you’d make to Alhor on the ordeal that is the plot of this story?

Cars are surprisingly quiet when inside them, at least compared to the noise they make when passing by; Zoe looks like a particularly tensed chord in the seat, but her driving is practiced and careful. The drive would be silent if not for the gentle humming of the radio, where strings follow words that feel oddly familiar despite being incomprehensible.

The car slows down in front of a small two-story house, coming to a stop as the front door opens and Evan comes rushing out, bag held tightly in his hands; Zoe unlocks the car and Evan slides in like he’s practiced it, once he’s got his seat belt on Zoe starts the car again.

Evan gives Connor a small wave from the backseat, he looks a little paler than he’s used to, but Connor figures it has to do with the hour, as he himself is fighting to remain awake. Zoe’s hands around the steering wheel unclench as the song changes and the car is filled with the soothing scent of Connor’s omega, he can see her take a deep breath and in the mirror he sees Evan smiling softly; the car passes through an old looking archway and stops again in a sea of other cars.

Once out of the vehicle Zoe gives them a hard to describe look, Evan makes a gesture with his hand, and she takes another deep breath before tugging her backpack close and walking away, a noise from the car marking her exit.

Then it’s just the two of them and Evan turns to him with the softest look, and warmth takes over Connor in a wave; so he crosses the little distance and does the one thing he’s been wanting to do for the longest time, just gathers Evan into his arms and holds him. The omega sinks into him with a chirp of sorts.

“Connor we need to go to class”

The tone he uses tries to be reprimanding, but the purring coming from his chest ruins it, Connor squeezes him and then lets him go almost completely, still holding his hand. Evan smiles at him and intertwines their fingers, before he starts tugging the alpha towards a big building that can only be their school.

There are eyes on them as they walk the halls, so Connor sticks close to his omega; partly because the feeling unnerves him, partly because what if they can also see how precious Evan is and are waiting for him to slip up so they can take him?

They stop after a bit in front of a dark skinned girl with carefully braided hair, her scent is hard to pick up, but Connor feels a sense of detached familiarity once he does; as though he knew of her rather than _knowing_ her. She smiles brightly at them as they stop in front of her, Evan detaches himself from Connor.

“Connor this is- this is Alana Beck”

The beta – and here Connor is going by potency of scent – gives a sharp nod and offers him a hand; Connor takes it after a beat or two, unsure how to really react.

“I’m going to be helping you get to your classes, since Evan only shares two of them, as well as with any doubt you may have on their contents”

“Right, uhm, thanks”

He sees Evan and the girl – Alana he reminds himself – share a look before Evan gives him one last smile and goes away to his class; Connor is used to that, to Evan having to leave because that’s how the world works, it sucks, but he’s used to it.

 

They had a plan, like, capital P plan, because they all knew that if anything could make a dent into Connor’s progress, it would be returning to high-school. However, him going was kind of a must because of how the world worked, so Zoe roped both Alana and Evan into helping her keep Connor away from harmful triggers.

They all have different reasons, Zoe understands; but those reasons just so happen to align enough that they can work together, and so she takes advantage. Sure, there’s still the whole thing with the picture Connor and Alana both had saved, the obvious nicknames to try and decipher, and the boy with non-reflecting pupils; but high school is the current hurdle.

Alana and her still had made an agreement to go to the library together on Zoe’s only free period of the day, to pour into some supernatural research; Alana was the one to suggest it so Zoe figured there was a reason for it.

But Zoe was getting ahead of herself, first she had to get through the first few periods of making sure her brother didn’t cross paths with any of the assholes in school, Alana and Evan were to take him from class to class, but the beta was also taking care of teachers and other faculty members, while Evan was specifically on Jared watch.

So Zoe had to keep an eye out for any ‘opportunists’ so to speak, because after spending half of Friday and the weekend in the same space as Connor, she came to the startling realization that he hadn’t simply forgotten, but rather regressed to the boy she had once called her brother. And Zoe, who had suffered him the worst, would do anything in her power to keep this Connor; to get her brother back fully.


	18. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The intricacies of demonic beings and how to summon them without killing anything.  
> OR: Alhor isn’t actually a demon, but I have no idea what he is exactly; I do know he can be summoned (via sacrificing something and drawing his sigils), can possess/influence others, thrives on loopholes (calls himself an opportunist), has shark-like teeth and glowing eyes (even in broad daylight), and is extremely morally ambiguous (also a dork, have you noticed?).

There’s a line of books laid on the library table, not too long due to the nature of said books, but Zoe notes that not a single one is child-oriented; she’s kind of impressed. One isn’t a library book but rather a tome that Alana says appeared atop her bed when she returned home after the photo incident; Zoe still hadn’t asked if she saw green or craved potato chips with fake cheddar flavoring.

“So, I have a hunch that we may be dealing with something not human”

“Was it the cheddar flavored chips? Because I will side with whatever supernatural creature on that one, they are addictive”

Alana blinks at her which is very amusing to watch, and then lays a hand on the non-library book.

“I’m sure there’s a story behind that, but I was referring to this”

Though the book was carefully constructed, it was clear it had been put together by hand, the title only visible once opened; and the title was weird because while all the information on the book was in English, the title wasn’t.

“I mean, they’re probably connected, but I don’t know for sure”

Alana nodded sagely and promptly added cheddar chips into a separate notebook, Zoe shifted in her chair, pulling one of the other books closer to her.

“Also the color green”

She opens the book and goes to the index before lifting her eyes again, only this time she meets with a stricken Alana.

“Did I cause you an epiphany?”

Alana blinks her way back to the present and smiles widely.

“Oh you definitely did”

She opens the hand-written book to a page with very careful depictions of sigils in pencil. Zoe has seen enough shows to recognize some of them, and flips through her own book until she lands on the bane of catholic faith.

The two book speak of demons in jarringly different tones, but the description is technically the same, they conduct themselves through deals, they can be summoned but prefer to pick where to appear and when, and they present themselves with a human guise.

 

Alhor was waiting, as he could not enter the school of his own account and had to be summoned inside; there was a story behind that, one that involved some minor demons, and while Alhor wasn’t a demon himself, he shared enough with them to be affected.

Granted, Alhor is still figuring out what sort of supernatural being he is, considering there’s no one to guide him on that front, what with his unconventional birth and other related oddities.

He spends his time cleaning, cutting and filing his nails; more for something to do that anything, since unlike changelings and minor demons, he had no claws to take care of. He’s finished both hands and puts the all in one nail-clipper back into his pocket when he felt the tug, so he takes an extra second to stretch before he’s swooped away via summoning hijinks.

Being summoned is weird, but at least this time he isn’t pulled into sulfur and carbon, like he had when Jared called him into the park’s crossroad. He finds himself in the library to watch as a fair hand finishes sketching one of his runes into a piece of paper, and he supposes he owes the two people in front of him an explanation.

He smiles widely, forgoing to dim his eyes into something easily mistaken with a trick of the light.

“Well now, someone’s an artist”

He watches bot Zoe and Alana turn to him in tandem, matching expressions of incredulity and dread; which is fair given he’s putting on a show.

“I knew you’d understand my clues Lana, but really, this has to be a record”

He expected the confusion, really he did, it still hurt like I had the first time, and like it would until he dragged that cursed fae into the fire.

“Ah yes, our little memory problem, not that it’ll last much longer mind you”

He sets up a quick time-still spell, a neat trick from when he’d been playing with the idea of reverting time, and sat down in one of the chairs with a flourish.

“Alhor Scarlay, unidentifiable creature of rumored demonic descent, and I believe you have some questions for me”


	19. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The idea of nesting room being a must for all housing made a lot of sense, that there would be a space in any house assigned for the placement of nests

It all started with a shoebox, it had been found in the small room with all the boxes, the once nest room turned storage place because nests were a shared experience, and coordinating such things was a lost cause. Evan had only peeked in to look for the box with old books after Alana mentioned wanting to get her hands into some folklore literature, but this one had sat almost directly in front of his eyes, with leaves and feathers sticking out of it.

The lid was drawn in market, still pristine despite its time hidden, a list of two syllable names written with extreme care, but still in something he could recognize as his own handwriting. The contents were unexpected, a series of childishly made birthday and valentines cards, drawings of the three owners of the two-syllable names and himself, small trinkets made with clay by clearly unpracticed hands, and a small booklet of pictures, most showing him side by side with either the messy haired boy, or the one with non-reddened eyes.

It’s been a whirlwind since, a spiral of images, of memories; pieces from a past that feels just as inherently his own as second hand. His perspective forcefully tilted, but instead of the panic one would expect he just feels relief.

He remembers green fire, bright smiles made of sharp teeth, whispered promises, shared secrets; he remembers Alhor, his best friend, Ali. He also remembers sharp eyes, loud laughter, knowing glances shared behind teacher’s heads, notes passed in hallways by brushing hands, plots designed in between bookcases; he remembers Alana, weird as it is to remember someone he sees daily, someone he knows, and he remembers how close they were, remembers calling her Lana once upon a time.

But the most urgent, most important, most consuming are his memories of _him_. Flashes of laced fingers and innocent kisses, cuddle sessions, matching outfits, sloppily made nests, pinky promises, hugs goodbye, pecks on the cheek.

And he understands why it happened so quickly, why it was so easy to use possessives, why every contact felt both like electricity and familiarity. He was _his_ , he is _his_ , and he will be _his_ ; never stopped as fate turned _him_ from Nini to Connor.

There’s much about these memories Evan doesn’t quite get, he knows he will eventually though, a certainty over the feeling. For now, he focuses on helping Connor adapt to being back to school, and looking out for Jared.

 

“Are you the one who possessed me?”

Alhor makes a face, nose scrunching and teeth glinting under the light.

“Possess is such a strong word, it was more me nudging you into doing stuff”

Zoe raises an eyebrow, Alhor huffs.

“Kleinman keeps trying to get an edge, and I shan’t allow it, so I had to push you a little”

He makes a motion with his hand and an orange colored tube appears on the table.

“I do apologize for the trouble, chips?”

Zoe takes the tube and hugs it close, then turns to Alana for a moment before glaring at Alhor.

“Leave her alone”

Alhor chuckles.

“I assure you her immobility is not my doing, though I’m certainly the cause”

Zoe blinks at him.

“That makes zero sense”

Alhor makes a conceding motion, like fair enough, and perfects his posture on the chair.

“She remembers knowing me despite her brain telling her this is our first meeting”

“Stop it!”

Both Zoe and Alhor jump a little at the outburst, Alhor only barely managing to contain the snarl that wants to leave his throat; he takes a deep breath.

“What are you doing to my head?!”

Alhor smiles, something small and visibly hurt, because he is, because while her reaction and tone are expected, they still unsettle him deeply; because he cares about her more than she cares about him.

“Easy now, if you’re gonna point any fingers it should be towards Kleinman, he is the one who stole the first memory, I’m just turning things back to their natural course”

Alana lets out a huff.

“Let’s say I believe you, how does that tie to what’s happening now”

 Alhor’s smile brightens, glad that his words are getting through and readies himself for a story.

“Well…”


	20. XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An explanation, kind of… I don’t actually know if this is understandable.

If one where to sit down and look at the series of events that unfolded ten years ago, they would come to the conclusion that it all came down to greed. Greed from a man who did not want handle raising someone that was “out of the norm”, greed from a young changeling who found a boy with pretty eyes and decided he would claim the human; greed and the lack of experience from those who wanted to help soothe the first and stop the second.

They were young and unaware of what they faced, and Jared had sunk his claws into Evan’s mind before any of them could so much as protest. But Alhor couldn’t let it end like that, wouldn’t allow the changeling to win, and so he left in order to find the solution.

He knew leaving would mean his protection over Connor and Alana would fade, and they would be hit by the aftermath of Jared’s actions, forgetting their ties to Evan, just as Evan had forgotten them. Yet not doing so would mean letting things go Jared’s way, because with Alhor still there the changeling would put actual effort into keeping Evan complacent, for fear of Alhor messing things up otherwise; and perhaps he would’ve been able, but he had wanted a complete solution, not a situational one.

He had experimented with the idea of altering time, but eventually deemed it too volatile for his taste, though it did push him into finding just how strong of a connection Evan had to Connor; and how he could use that connection to his benefit. One memory from Connor, taken at his weakest state, one filled with as much negative emotion as possible; to be exchanged for Evan’s stolen memory, which had been taken in similar conditions, but was filled with the opposite emotion.

It had hurt more than he cared to admit, to watch Connor at his lowest, to have to weave a spell to slow the effects of what he’d done enough for him to be saved; but what hurt most was watching that glint of misplaced recognition, knowing Connor could remember him, and knowing he’d have to take that away. Taking the memory on the other hand had been worryingly easy, and while he watched Connor be wheeled away to a hospital from his hiding spot in the park, Alhor took a moment to digest the fact that while Connor was the one pulling the trigger, he had not wanted to die.

 

“I told him he had an option, but he didn’t hesitate a second, resolute in getting Evan back”

Zoe nodded.

“He loved him, I could tell just with his sketchbooks”

Alhor hummed.

“He was meant to forget Evan but…”

Alana shifted in her seat.

“But?”

Alhor looked at Zoe.

“Was there ever something he did that seemed unnatural? Most likely something that made him look really bad afterwards”

Zoe took a sharp breath.

“He threw a printer at a teacher, or well, everyone said he did”

Alhor nods.

“He probably got a little too close to Evan and Jared retaliated, it must have jogged his memory by accident”

Alana does a little rhythm with her fingers against the table.

“You called him a changeling, what does that mean?”

“Depends on who you ask but they’re basically children who got dragged into the fae realm and came back no longer human”

Zoe scrunches her nose.

“That’s high key fucked up”

“Indeed, and many a changeling go through painful effort to get a semblance of humanity back”

Alana arches an eyebrow at him.

“But?”

Alhor schools his expression into a deadpan one.

“Cool motive, still murder”

This causes the girls to snort so he calls it a victory, he lays back into the chair.

“Anyway, now that Evan and Connor have reconnected their frayed string, our little omega should begin remembering”

Zoe smiles at that, and it’s clear she’s happy to hear about the soulmates reuniting; Alana is giving him a look.

“So you have what you wanted”

Alhor sighs.

“Yes and no, I still have to deal with the changeling problem”

The girls exchange looks, and then Zoe turns to him with a terrifying resolve.

“How can I help?”

Alhor smirks.

“We’re gonna need iron and chalk”


	21. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there’s more to it than just iron and chalk, mainly because Alhor doesn’t want Jared knowing until he’s already trapped.

Evan supposes someone else might have had trouble dealing with the fact that they remembered the love of their life when that person was dealing with amnesia, and he did admit it was a pretty weird situation to be in, but Evan kind of… doesn’t? Like, why should he give himself grief when Connor is his regardless?

The courting has been nothing short of amazing too, like, Connor’s so attentive and protective and… and honestly Evan feels so very good at his side; also he gets to be shamelessly possessive?? With an alpha???? And it isn’t just a run of the mill alpha, it’s Connor eye of the hurricane Murphy, the boy whom Evan happened to have a massive crush on his whole life apparently, the one who goes out of his way to make Evan feel special.

It makes being careful of Jared just slightly harder, because Evan kind of maybe wants to rub it in his face, show the other exactly how wholly he belongs to the alpha despite the lack of a mark; to make it clear that Evan is no longer under any obligation to put up with the changeling’s bullshit.

That last detail does throw Evan a bit off balance, the whole supernatural beings thing does to be completely honest, but the more he tries to reason it, the more sense it makes. It mainly boils down to Jared having a track record of being really fucking weird, thus leading to Evan being more than ready to accept him being a faery-thingy.

Ok, so maybe, possibly, the memories have made Evan a bit bolder when it comes to showing affection; actually bold is a big word, it’s more like… comfortable, yeah, definitely that. Like, since they were practically almost basically courting back when, so it makes sense the motions are so familiar, and easy to perform, and such.

Connor, wonderful, wonderful Connor, takes all of Evan’s probably rushed steps in stride; and reciprocates with an eagerness that makes it harder to remember he doesn’t. Connor doesn’t remember their past together, and maybe he had before the accident, maybe that’s the real reason as to why he seemed so hurt when seeing Zoe’s name in the letter.

And maybe the reason Evan never settled on any one alpha to pine after, despite wanting to be with one, was because on a deep subconscious level he knew about it beforehand. Still he suspects foul play on remembering it right now, and will absolutely have words with his best friend once Alhor decides to show his face; Evan knows he will, can’t explain where the certainty comes from, but he does and that’s all he needs.

 

Mash sugar in a small bag, just enough for an almost closed circle, a rod of pure iron taken from an old chair on its last legs, the wood from the upper frame of said chair has been painted with some blackboard paint Alana had from an old project, and covered in two sigil laced designs for each side, five circles in the pavement, one where the sugar will go big enough for all three of them to stand in though they will not, and four in the cardinal directions with a sigil and a used piece of chalk in seemingly specific colors; Zoe is very intrigued.

Alhor, endlessly patient that he happens to be, explains every step of creating the changeling trap carefully and methodically, which is also a fair descriptor to every move the older omega makes while actually creating the thing. Zoe’s role is to place the piece of wood close to the drawings but somewhere Jared won’t see it until he’s entered the main circle, Alhor explains that the sigil in one side hides the drawing from Jared’s senses, while the one on the other side activates the whole thing, she’s supposed to flip it once Alhor puts the iron rod down.

“Lana, you’re gonna pretend like I’m speaking through you, so any resentment you feel for Kleinman should be tripled and heavily laced with poisonous saccharine”

Zoe has to stop for a moment.

“That’s an entire concept”

Alhor chuckles.

“It’s fun”

Alana heads towards her position.

“What about the glowing green eyes?”

Alhor raises an eyebrow and makes a motion with his hand.

“These are factory design, so unless you’re a supernatural being they don’t really happen”

Alana scoffs.

“Jared’s eyes glowed green when he tried to attack Evan”

Alhor blinks once, twice, thrice.

“That’s creepy”

Zoe frowns.

“I’m pretty sure I saw green when you possessed me”

Alhor looks at her with clear concern.

“Ok, one, I didn’t possess you, I influenced your actions, second, I think the green sight is a you thing”

Zoe squints at him.

“What about the cheddar chips?”

Alhor runs a hand through the back of his head.

“That was more of a suggestion really”

Zoe puts a hand in his shoulder, expression solemn, appreciating just how tall he is for the first time.

“You’ve opened my eyes”

Alhor snorts with his entire body, brown hair ruffling like a Ghibli movie. He then gives her this hard to describe look, and she remembers being told to stay quiet as an adult passed by, and they’re hiding; only they’re still in a random empty parking lot under an overcast sky in the middle of the day.

“Go to your place Zoe”

His expression is soft, like he knows exactly what she’s remembered, and maybe he does; it breaks her heart a little, the way his eyes light up every time a memory is retrieved, because it’s easier to see how much hurt he carries right after.


	22. XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So uhm, we might or might not be reaching the end of the line, partly because I love ‘time jump epilogues’, mostly because I honestly have no idea how to make the story longer and refuse to beat a dead horse.

There’s nothing special about that day, not really; no freaky displays of nature being weird, nor is there complete silence like the calm before the storm. It’s just an overcast day, which maybe would’ve been a sign of some sort, but the weather forecast had said it’d be overcast so that can’t be a thing; or maybe the forecast being right is the weird thing?

The point here is that it was a completely normal, absolutely regular really, kind of day; so how come everything felt as though charged with electricity?

Connor had been going through old stuff with the help of his omega, trying to jog his memory as he was meant to, when his skin filled with goosebumps unexpectedly. Evan, sweet, wonderful Evan, had reached out to him when Connor had frozen at the sensation.

“Everything ok?”

It wasn’t anything to worry about Connor supposed, after all he didn’t feel bad, just…

“Yeah, the world just feels weird”

Evan looks relieved.

“I thought it was just me”

He sounds adorable with that almost laugh like waver in his voice, so Connor gives him a small kiss, because that’s something he can do. It’s nice, being able to shower Evan with affection freely; it feels like Connor’s been waiting to do this for the longest time, and considering all the drawings and little poems, he probably has.

By now he’s come to terms with the fact that his memory loss has something to do with a failed suicide attempt, given all the context clues he’s picked up from interacting with his family this past week and a half; however, he’s yet to find anyone who can corroborate this theory properly as he apparently walked himself to the hospital to collapse at the reception. The thing though, is that Connor has the distinct feeling that he wasn’t alone during the attempt, nor the walk to the hospital in a half-conscious state, but no matter how hard he tries the memory of the other person stays unclear.

If he’s honest, he’s not actually sure he wants to remember, because there’s a part of him that firmly believes remembering that particular detail would unravel everything he’s built so far; and Connor can’t lose Evan over the memory of what could very well be a complete stranger. He wonders, however, if maybe that’s connected to why the world feels weird; and maybe it does just as much as the rest of his missing memories have affected his life, but maybe it’s all in Connor’s head.

“Huh, this photo looks familiar”

Connor is startled out of his thoughts by his omega’s voice, and turns in his direction to find Evan looking at a photo of an open field. Connor gets a feeling that’s sort of like goosebumps, but without the skin rising, and then he’s speaking.

“The autumn smiles apple orchard”

 

Jared isn’t actually sure if knowing Alana got herself entangled with the somewhat demonic creature that was Scarlay made too little sense, or maybe too much. She was a smart girl, one Jared hadn’t worried would consider the occult, or if she did would be smart enough to stay away from whatever kind of hell-spawn Scarlay counted as; but sometimes she was too smart for her own good, and Scarlay was a cunning bastard.

So here he was, responding to a message from the supernatural creature to meet at the abandoned parking lot of the old apple orchard, a meeting point between society and nature; only the person waiting for him is Alana, who gives him an all too familiar saccharine smile. He figures this is Scarlay trying to make sure Jared doesn’t try anything, and despite himself he can’t really blame him for it, because Jared is angry.

He’s been watching Evan, and by association watching Connor, because the two hardly if ever stayed apart these days; and Jared was not a fan of that change. He thought being upset was understandable, considering Jared’s whole human façade relied so heavily on the omega.

His feet move closer, just enough not to have to shout, but still far enough to run if necessary; he doesn’t trust Scarlay anymore than the other trusts him. Not-Alana gives him a onceover, never dropping the expression, before arching an eyebrow perfectly up.

“Still stubborn as ever I see”

Jared growls, a sound he generally dislikes doing, because his is so strikingly different from any other alpha’s, but it’s not like Alana will remember any of this once it’s over.

“That’s rich coming from you”

The chuckle that follows his remark sounds like Alana and doesn’t at the same time.

“I’m not the one who stepped into enemy territory without a plan”

Jared let out a loud laugh.

“If the tree spirits cared for trespassers natural reservoirs wouldn’t work”

 Not-Alana’s face changes, something raw and far too human in her expression; when the next words fill the air they don’t come from her mouth.

“Have you wore that mask so long you’ve forgotten how to see?”

As he whirls around, Jared feels the temperature rise to the point of hurting, and finds Alhor in his normal form, metal rod at his feet. Jared takes about five steps back because he’d recognize iron from a mile away, only he’s stopped by an invisible force; and then he notices Alana, face eerily pale as she backs away to where there’s another onlooker.

There’s a list of things Jared has to come to terms with before facing Alhor: the first is the fact that Zoe Murphy is there, activating rune drawn in what looks like a piece of chalkboard at her feet; the second is the fact that Alana was at no point possessed, and had seen first-hand proof that Jared wasn’t human; and the last is the helpless notion of being trapped. None of which are quite as frustrating as the fact that he’s been forced out into the open, he can tell because his claws poke at his legs.

Scarlay looked particularly old, older than the age he usually settled for; maybe it was the exhaustion so clearly seeping through his every pore, maybe it was the way he looked at Jared as though they didn’t despise each other. Delicate hands moving to the sides, their palms half-facing the sky; and Jared had always considered it odd how fragile the hell-spawn looked despite the power so visibly within him.

“A nursery for hounds”

Fear was a very tame word for the feeling that strangled Jared’s heart at hearing those words, at noting the sigils so carefully drawn around his trap. Scarlay didn’t even smile at him, even though the omega had no reason to worry, and the girls would be basically invisible so long as they stayed close to the rune; Jared was the only one in danger, so why did Scarlay look like that?


	23. XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m honestly not sure what I’ll do once this is fully over, but oh well.

Ten years Alhor waited for this moment, going through every step, each line; and now that things were finally wrapping up he found his exhaustion catching up to him. He knew relaxing now would call the hellhounds over, so he had to hold back for a little longer, just until he had tied the last lose end.

A memory for a memory for a memory, a simple trick in theory, but taxing and dangerous in practice. Still, it was the safest move to make, considering how careful the changeling had been about keeping the memory; Alhor could not care less for Kleinman, but credit where credit was due.

So then, the memory of Connor’s lowest moment for Evan’s memory of his childhood friends; and now the memory of Jared Kleinman in exchange for the memories of everyone else. Perhaps a human being would be generally more hesitant about giving someone else such an end, and maybe it should worry Alhor that he didn’t; but then again, he wasn’t human, not really.

He’s tired, and angry, and frustrated; and his patience has all but broken, no more stalling. Therefore, while he understood erasing Jared would be cruel, Alhor couldn’t afford to be merciful; not anymore.

“End of the line little fae”

Jared snarls at him fangs glistening in the light, Alhor goes join the girls and whispers.

“It’s better if you cover your eyes, no one should have to watch what comes next”

The girls comply, Alhor does a small silencing spell and closes his eyes as well; and then he lets go. He doesn’t know how long it takes, time is such a hard concept to grasp, but when the smell of sulfur fades into something bearable he opens his eyes again.

There’s no trace of the drawing he’d made on the pavement, nor the wood, nor the chalk, nor the iron rod; nothing to show what had happened there. Alana and Zoe have opened their eyes as well and are looking around in clear confusion, Alhor bites his lip, but then there’s the sound of a car parking.

 

Connor feels like he’s charged as he follows Evan out of the car, his omega runs at the boy with his sister and Alana, shouting a name as he goes; the two hug like they had lost each other, which is a weird statement to make when they’re both there, but it feels like it fits the situation. Then Evan tugs the stranger towards Connor, who stands a little taller before his nose is hit with the tell-tale sweetness of omega; the stranger smiles softly and offers a hand palm up, Connor glances at Evan’s bright demeanor and takes the hand.

The first thing he feels are his eyes hurting, then dizziness, and finally warmth; he opens his eyes, not having realized he had closed them, and his breath catches. Alhor, older and exhausted and yet unquestionably Alhor, gives him a sheepish smile.

“Told you I’d find a way to fix it”

Connor kind of wants to knock the lights off the omega, but he also really wants to squeeze the air out of him, the second wins and he hugs Alhor as tightly as possible.

“Idiot”

Alhor, supernatural asshole that he is, simply chuckles and pats his back; there’s a hand on Connor’s shoulder and he lets go of Alhor just a tad in order to look at whoever is interrupting, only to meet with soft green-blue eyes. Connor’s hear swells a he looks at his omega, and shivers involuntarily at the raw feeling of being allowed to refer to Evan that way freely; when Alhor pushes away he lets him go in favor of pulling Evan to himself instead.

Evan purrs at him and lays his head on Connor’s chest still following Alhor, Connor gives him a giddy peck on the head before also turning to watch what the other will do next. Alhor goes to Alana, and gently puts his fingers on her shoulders.

“Lana”

She looks lost for a moment before her eyes focus and she tackles Alhor to the ground, the omega lets out a weak protest, they manage to detangle themselves while laughing, and Alana springs towards Connor and Evan.

“Nini, Vivi!”

Connor smiles as he hears his omega groan softly against him. Zoe has to help Alhor, who seems unable to stop laughing, despite the tears running through his face; probably relief shock.

“Nicknames, really?”

Connor huffs.

“Hey, you’re the one that made them”

Zoe turn to him and blinks in astonishment.

“What?”

Alhor, who’s finally managed to stifle his laughter, still looks more amused than anything as he smiles at her.

“You used to be horrible with names, so we compromised”

She snorts.

“Oh my god”


	24. XXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath, and what comes after.

Memories are difficult things, powerful, and life-changing; but difficult. Remembering is ten different levels of weird, because it puts everything into a perspective they weren’t exactly prepared to face; it makes one realize what they forgot, and Connor is learning to live with this realization.

He isn’t angry with Alhor, even if the omega had declared he would understand it if he were, because he realizes he hadn’t wanted to die, not really. Maybe it’s survivor’s guilt, or whatever the fuck, Connor doesn’t know and, honestly, doesn’t care.

Alana and Zoe seem to be the least affected, or rather the most benefited, by the whole memory thing, considering their interactions with each other and with Alhor. Connor has no idea what’s going on between the three of them, and he does not want to find out, at all.

When not around the girls, Alhor is very quiet, though he’s proven to have quite the sharp tongue when required; there may or may not have been an incident with Larry and Zoe that was resolved by the older omega, Connor can’t confirm nor deny.

Then there’s Evan, who sometimes seems to forget that they all remember, who gazes at them with a deep rooted longing, and sometimes with raw guilt.

“He’s the one who went without the memory the longest, his brain needs to adjust”

“It still sucks”

Alhor nods, huffing loudly.

“It really does, but we can only be patient for now, remind him to take it one step at a time, so on”

Connor arches an eyebrow, Alhor gives him a no-nonsense glare he’s definitely learned from Alana.

“Anything else has the chance to make things worse, but if it really bothers you then talk to him”

Connor bites his lip, Alhor rolls his eyes at him.

“You’re his alpha, literally the only constant in his life, just fucking talk to him coward”

Connor isn’t angry at Alhor, because the way he speaks nowadays betrays just how destroyed he’s become by everything he did, how it’s shifted something deep inside him, and how afraid he is of that change affecting them. So Connor does what he’s told, knowing there’s a silent plea there, because Alhor can’t help Evan, even if he clearly wants to.

 

By the time Alhor has won back his everything, his friends are graduating; or most of them are, Zoe still has one more year to go. Things are good, great even, which makes for a good contrast to his previous feelings, as he makes his way deeper into the woods, heading for the living-burnt crossroad.

Alana and Zoe were following closely, the beta with two books in her arms, the younger omega with a small dagger Alhor had given her. The three of them walk in relative silence, and it’s nice, it feels good to have them back.

“I still think it’s weird that you don’t know what you are”

Alhor chuckles at Zoe’s tone, staying just far enough that he can stop either her or Alana if they trip.

“One of the world’s great mysteries, for sure”

Alana laughs brightly.

“Oh yes, why are we here? When did it all start? What is Alhor anyway?”

Zoe joins her, and their laughter brings him a sense of peace he sorely needs. As the ground gives way to charred grass, their laughter slows to a stop, Alhor widens the distance before turning around, placing himself at the epicenter of the crossroads.

“Welcome to my birthplace”

The girls look around in stunned silence, and it’s a statement to how they’re connected to him, because he knows they can feel the amount of energy gathered here. Everything looks burnt, but it breathes nonetheless, brilliantly alive despite everything.

“A crossroad”

Alana has a solemn look to her, probably making sense of how this fact has affected what Alhor is, Zoe smiles instead.

“Are we gonna make a deal with you?”

Amusement coils at his chest and he smiles thankfully at her before shaking his head.

“I’m just gonna take my territory back”

They have a short silent conversation before turning to him with the fondest look possible, Alana is the one to speak.

“How can we help?”

It’s a rather simple ritual, despite how powerful the magic behind it is, but it’ll mean he’ll stay in the town for a while, maybe even forever; and the girls know, they know because Alhor doesn’t hide anything from them, and this is how they repay him. Trust for trust, honesty for honesty… Alhor takes a deep breath.

 

The world changes, but no one really notices, because in order to notice they’d have to remember, and the memory they lack has been destroyed. Evan’s world changes too, but that change is easier to notice, to recognize, and to explain; because his memories have returned, and anything broken by forgetting has fixed, or is being fixed.

Memories are difficult things, powerful, and life-changing; but difficult. Evan Hansen knows this first hand, and though he cannot make sense of how he could’ve possibly forgotten, he promises himself he will not do it again.

He knows though, that even if he did, he has friends ready to get him to remember once more no matter the cost; and that’s reassuring as it is terrifying. But despite everything, or maybe perhaps because of it, he feels seen, even loved; and really, that was all he had wanted.

The End.


End file.
